I Come From A Stupid Family. My

I Told My Wife The Truth. I Told Her I Was Seeing A Psychiatrist. Then She Told Me The Truth: That She Was Seeing A Psychiatrist, Two Plumbers, And A Bartender.

My Father Carries Around The Picture Of The Kid Who Came With His Wallet.

Me And My Dad Used To Play Tag, He'd Drive!

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.

My Mother Never Breast Fed Me, She Told Me She Only Liked Me As A Friend.