When I Played In The Sandbox, The

Last Week I Told My Wife, If You Would Learn To Cook, I Could Fire The Chef. She Said, If You Could Learn To Make Love, I Could Fire The Chauffer.

My Mother Had Morning Sickness After I Was Born.

I Get No Respect... I Tell You, When I Was Born, The Doctor Smacked My Mother

I Come Home From Work Early One Day, And I See A Guy Jogging Down The Street In His Underwear. I Ask Him, "why Are You Jogging In Your Underwear?" He Says, "you Came Home From Work Early".

My Wife Has Teeth Like The Stars... They Come Out At Night.