I Used To Get Bummed Out When

If Only Loud People Were Even Half As Interesting As They Think They Are.

A Pipe Is Greater Than A Bong. Because When You're Smoking A Pipe At Least It Makes You Look Like You're Thinking About Something.

Whenever I Throw Caution To The Wind I Make Sure I'm Facing The Right Way So That It Doesn't Blow Back And Hit Me In My Face.

I Went To Law School. I Found It Interesting For The First Three Weeks. By The Fourth Week, I Found It Tedious. I Got Bored And Grew Restless. I Had No Other Plan For A Job, Because From Seventh Grade On, I Had Planned On Law. So I Shifted My Focus From Classes To Extracurricular Activities.

If You Want To Dry Hump Someone You Don't Know, Just Act Like They Were Choking.