I Once Showed Pat Bradley My Swing

He Was Bare Chested And In Good Trim. I Said That Just Looking At Him I Knew There Would Always Be An England

If I Had That Kind Of Money, I Wouldn't Come To Vietnam, I'd Send For It.

The Old Water Heater In My Dressing Room Was Working, But It Was Kind Of Tired. It Gave Off About As Much Warmth As An Agent's Handshake.

I've Been Married Fifty-five Years And I've Been Home Three Weeks.

Eighty Is When You Order A Steak And The Headwaiter Puts It Through The Blender. Or When You Wake Up As Many Times During The Night As Burt Reynolds, But Not For The Same Reason.