I Now Consider It A Good Day

I Think Anyone Who's Perfectly Happy Isn't Particularly Funny.

I Have No Sex Appeal. If My Husband Didn't Toss And Turn, We'd Never Have Had Any Kids.

I Was So Ugly That My Parents Sent My Picture To 'ripley's Believe It Or Not' - They Sent It Back And Said, "we Don't Believe It."

Self-pity Shortens Your Life.

I Use A Smoke Alarm As A Timer.