I Use A Smoke Alarm As A

I Think It Was Cosby Who Also Said To Me, 'if Only 2 Percent Of The World Thinks You're Funny, You'll Still Fill Stadiums For The Rest Of Your Life.'

Better Laid Than Never.

The People Voting For The Oscars Are So Old. I Haven't Seen One Academy Award Voter With A Tampon In Her Purse.

If You Don't Want Gays In The Military, Make The Uniforms Ugly.

I Was Just Reading About The New Lindsay Lohan Diet, Which Is All Liquid. 80 Proof.