The People Voting For The Oscars Are

The Fun Of Working On The Road Means Stealing From Hotels. I've Been Doing It For So Long, I Have A Set Of Towels From The Ark.

Before We Make Love My Husband Takes A Pain Killer. I Blame My Mother For My Poor Sex Life. All She Told Me Was, 'the Man Goes On Top And The Woman Underneath'. For Three Years My Husband And I Slept On Bunk Beds. I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off. It's So Long Since I've Had Sex, I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Whom. My Best Birth Control Now Is To Leave The Lights On.

She Doesn't Understand The Concept Of Roman Numerals. She Thought We Just Fought In World War Eleven.

I Think I'm In A Business Where You Have To Look Good, And It's Totally Youth-oriented.

I Started My Career In A Town So Small The Local Clinic Was Called Fred's Hospital And Grill.