Diets, Like Clothes, Should Be Tailored To

There Are Many Self-help Books By Ph.d.s, But I Hold A Different Degree: An I.b.t.i.a.-i've Been Through It All. This Degree Comes Not On Parchment But Gauze, And It Entitles Me To Tell You That There Is A Way To Get Through Any Misfortune.

The Only Way I Can Get A Man To Touch Me At This Age Is Plastic Surgery.

When A Man Has A Birthday, He Takes A Day Off. When A Woman Has A Birthday, She Takes At Least Three Years Off.

My Mother Could Make Anybody Feel Guilty - She Used To Get Letters Of Apology From People She Didn't Even Know.

I Think Anyone Who's Perfectly Happy Isn't Particularly Funny. And When You're Very, Very Happy, You're Not Very Funny. You're Just Happy. I'd Rather Be Damaged And Funny.