Self-pity Shortens Your Life.

The Psychic Scars Caused By Believing That You Are Ugly Leave A Permanent Mark On Your Personality.

A Woman Went To A Plastic Surgeon And Asked Him To Make Her Like Bo Derek. He Gave Her A Lobotomy.

If You Can't Make Fun Of Yourself, You Don't Have Any Right To Make Fun Of Others

If You Don't Want Gays In The Military, Make The Uniforms Ugly.

Don't Talk To Me About Gravity. When I Get Out Of Bed In The Morning, I Have To Be Careful Not To Step On My Breasts.