I Never Drink Water; That Is The

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.

Comedy Is A Serious Business. A Serious Business With Only One Purpose--to Make People Laugh.

I Think Of The Church Often. Not Because Religion Was Closing In On Me, But Because For A Long Time My Ass Was Sore From That Hard, Unupholstered Pew.

It Is Well To Remember That There Are Five Reasons For Drinking: The Arrival Of A Friend, One's Present Or Future Thirst, The Excellence Of The Cognac, Or Any Other Reason

I Once Spent A Year In Philadelphia, I Think It Was On A Sunday.