Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I

Drown In A Cold Vat Of Whiskey? Death, Where Is Thy Sting?

Few Things In Life Are More Embarrassing Than The Necessity Of Having To Inform An Old Friend That You Have Just Got Engaged To His Fiancee.

Women Are Like Elephants To Me. I Like To Look At Them, But I Wouldn't Want To Own One.

There's No Such Thing As A Tough Child - If You Parboil Them First For Seven Hours, They Always Come Out Tender.

I'm Searching For Loopholes.