Drown In A Cold Vat Of Whiskey?

Last Week, I Went To Philadelphia, But It Was Closed.

Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I Do.

Fields' Reply: He'd Think I Was A Sissy.

Try Till You Succeed...if You Don't Succeed Once, Then Destroy All Evidence Of The Fact That You Tried!

I Like Thieves. Some Of My Best Friends Are Thieves. Why, Just Last Week We Had The President Of The Bank Over For Dinner.