I'm Searching For Loopholes.

I Spent Half My Money On Gambling, Alcohol And Wild Women. The Other Half I Wasted.

The Low-ceiling Price Bazaar For Sexual Relief Was A Street Called Middie Alley. You Could Barely Get A Pushcart Through This Avenue. Top Price-twenty-five Cents.

My Illness Is Due To My Doctor's Insistence That I Drink Milk, A Whitish Fluid They Force Down Helpless Babies.

Remember, A Dead Fish Can Float Downstream, But It Takes A Live One To Swim Upstream.

The Movie People Would Have Nothing To Do With Me Until They Heard Me Speak In A Broadway Play, Then They All Wanted To Sign Me For The Silent Movies.