I Like Children - Fried.

You Can Fool Some Of The People Some Of The Time -- And That's Enough To Make A Decent Living.

Some Things Are Better Than Sex, And Some Are Worse, But There's Nothing Exactly Like It.

Marriage Is Better Than Leprosy Only Because It's Easier To Get Rid Of.

A Comic Should Suffer As Much Over A Single Line As A Man With A Hernia Would In Picking Up A Heavy Barbell.

I Only Drink To Steady My Nerves... Sometimes I'm So Steady I Don't Move For Months.