I Learned About Sex The Hard Way...

I Was Walking Home One Night And A Guy Hammering On A Roof Called Me A Paranoid Little Weirdo. In Morse Code.

I Used To Be Scared Of Pretty Girls, Until One Confessed They're Just As Scared Of Me.

Lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.

Even The Worst Comic Is At Least Somewhat Entertaining, If Only In A Pathological Way, For Five Minutes.

The Only Work I Ever Turned Down Was A Cable Programme Called Diving For Excrement.