I've Always Thought The Best Way To

Every Time I See Dan Quayle I Feel Like Buying A Vowel.

My Dad Always Said, If Someone Hands You A Lemon, Make Lemonade. Plus That Also Works Wonderfully As A Metaphor.

I Try Not To Talk During The Day When I Have A Show That Night. My Voice Is My Instrument, Just Like A Saxophonist's Instrument Is His Saxophone, Plus Also His Voice, If He's The One Between Tunes That Makes Announcements.

He Taught Me Never To Smile, Which Helps Me When I Visit Disaster Sites.

I Love To Go Down To The Schoolyard And Watch All The Little Children Jump Up And Down And Run Around Yelling And Screaming. They Don't Know I'm Only Using Blanks.