I'll Do Anything For My Wife, It's

When I Was Ten, My Family Moved To Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I Was Twelve, I Found Them.

It's Amazing Where A Joke Might Come From. I Find A Lot Of Humour Just By Metaphorically Turning Things Upside Down Or Literally Like My Wife's Cat.

I Told My Wife She Looks Sexy With Black Fingernails. Now She Thinks I Slammed The Car Door On Her Hand On Purpose.

I'm Very Religious, You Know. Now, Ok, If By 'religious', You Mean That I Go To Church Every Sunday, Read The Bible Faithfully, And I Listen To Debbie Boone, Umm, I'm Not Religious In That Sense... But If By 'religious' You Mean That I Love Others And Try To Help Them Whenever Possible... Again, No. But If By 'religious' You Mean That I Like To Eat Coleslaw... Yeah, Ok, Ok!

Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier Every Year. Like, This Time, It's On December 25th.