My Sister Just Had A Baby. We

I Think Of My Body As A Temple. Or At Least A Relatively Well-managed Presbyterian Youth Center.

I Caught My Wife In Bed With My Best Friend The Other Day. I Was Crushed. They Could Have Waited Till I'd Got Out.

I Don't Know If I Was Put On This Earth For A Purpose Or Not. But I'm Fairly Confident That I'll Be Taken Off Of It For One.

I Grew Up In An Era When Strange Adults Would Grab Me On The Street And Say: 'don't Do That.' You Never See That These Days. 'hi, We Took The Liberty Of Spanking Your Son.' Oh Thanks, My Hand Was Getting Worn.

The Other Night, The President Gave A Speech. He Said, "children Are Our Most Prescious Natural Resource". I Thought, "let's Hope It Never Comes To That".