I Know [canned Music] Makes Chickens Lay

He Was Happily Married - But His Wife Wasn't.

The Difference Between A Violin And A Viola Is That A Viola Burns Longer.

I Don't Mind Growing Old. I'm Just Not Used To It.

In My Dreams Of Heaven, I Always See The Great Masters Gathered In A Huge Hall In Which They All Reside. Only Mozart Has His Own Suite.

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.