I Don't Mind Growing Old. I'm Just

The Elephant Smoked Too Much.(explaining Why The Keys Of His Piano Were So Yellow)

You May Not Be Aware Of This But Leonard Bernstein Won Another Award, For Explaining The Music Of Igor Stravinsky... To Igor Stravinsky!

That's Why I've Never Thought Of Retiring Because I Do It All The Time Whether On The Stage Or Off. I Found That In A Precarious Situation, A Smile Is The Shortest Distance Between People. When One Needs To Reach Out For Sympathy Or A Link With People, What Better Way Is There?

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.

I Know [canned Music] Makes Chickens Lay More Eggs And Factory Workers Produce More. But How Much More Can They Get Out Of You On An Elevator?