I Do A Lot Of Family Shows.

I Don't Understand Why It Has To Be Either - Or - Either Socialism Or Democracy. Why Can't We Combine Things To Get The Best Of Each System?

I Look At It This Way: How Much Of The Day Are You Awake? You Think, "i've Gotta Get That Dry Cleaning, I Gotta Get This Going, And This, And This, And This." And All Of A Sudden It's Dinnertime. And Then There's A Moment Of Connection With Your Spouse Or Your Friends. Then You Read And Go To Bed. Wake Up And Then It's The Same All Over. You're Not Awake, You're Not Living, You're Not Experiencing. We Start Early Medicating Ourselves. We Start Kids Early, On Tv And Video Games And So On.

Man Is The Only Animal To Borrow Tools.

Never Comment On A Woman's Rear End. Never Use The Words 'large' Or 'size' With 'rear End'. Never. Avoid The Area Altogether. Trust Me.

My Mom Said The Only Reason Men Are Alive Is For Lawn Care And Vehicle Maintenance.