I Don't Understand Why It Has To

While Awaiting Sentencing, I Decided To Give Stand-up Comedy A Shot. The Judge Had Suggested I Get My Act Together, And I Took Him Seriously.

I Do A Lot Of Family Shows.

I Have A Thing For Tools.

I Don't Understand Why It Has To Be Either - Or - Either Socialism Or Democracy. Why Can't We Combine Things To Get The Best Of Each System?

I Love Women. I Actually Prefer Girls, As A Parent, Because They Disappoint At A Different Age. They Go Through That, "dad's An Idiot," Which Lasted A Little Longer Than I'd Like.