I Have A Thing For Tools.

I've Always Felt, And I Don't Like To Say This Because I Sound Like An Ex-patriot, I Always Feel Quite A Bit More Comfortable Sometimes In Canada. For A Variety Of Reasons. I Just Think It's A Politer Place. Kind Of. You Don't Have Quite The Population To Deal With But You Don't Immediately Get Into Skirmishes With Everybody. If You Had Any Passport, Any Terrorist Would Let The Canadians Off The Plane.

I Have Way Too Many Commitments. I Get Pulled In Too Many Directions And I Never Seem To Be Able To Satisfy Anybody. People Get Turned On By Knowing A Celebrity, Even My Friends And Family. They Feel That There's Something Exciting About Me, But In Reality There's No Substance To It. People In Airports Just Hold On To Me Expecting Something And It Seems That I Always Come Up Empty. It's Frustrating Because I'm Trying To Please Everybody, And Ya Just Can't Do That ... At Least I Can't.

Jill : What Causes Sibling Rivalry? Tim : Having More Than One Kid!

Women Are Brilliant. Every Woman Knows How To Do The Weirdest Thing Right Out Of The Bucket. Every Woman Knows How To Do That Hindu Head Wrap With The Towel Out Of The Shower. A Typhoon Couldn't Blow That Thing Off Their Heads. Ever Try To Do That? You Look Like A Drunk Iraqi Soldier.

If You Don't Decide Where You're Going, Life Will Decide For You.