Having Money Gives Me The Freedom To

As Long As I Don't Commit Any Crimes, You Have No Right To Judge Me Except By My Performance As A Professional. On That Level, You're Welcome To Think Whatever You Want About Me.

Despite The Fact That Computer Speeds Are Measured In Nanoseconds And Picoseconds - One Billionth And One Trillionth Of A Second, Respectively - The Smallest Interval Of Time Known To Man Is That Which Occurs In Manhattan Between The Traffic Signal Turning Green And The Taxi Driver Behind You Blowing His Horn.

The Closest Thing To Roseanne Barr's Singing The National Anthem Was My Cat Being Neutered.

Your Chances Of Getting Hit By Lighting Go Up If You Stand Under A Tree, Shake Your Fist At The Sky, And Say "storms Suck!!

They Say Atomic Rad-i-ation Can Hurt Your Reproductive Organs. My Answer Is, So Can A Hockey Stick. But We Don't Stop Building Them.