If Life Was Fair, Elvis Would Be

I'm An Entertainer; I Try To Give The Public What It Wants While I'm On The Screen, And I'm Completely Sincere About It. If I Don't Happen To Be A Laughing Boy Off The Screen, That Doesn't Make Me A Hypocrite Or A Phony.

Happiness Is Having A Rare Steak, A Bottle Of Whiskey, And A Dog To Eat The Rare Steak.

Find Me Any Performer Anywhere Who Isn't Egocentric. You'd Better Believe You're Good, Or You've Got No Business Being Out There.

I've Worked Ever Since I Was A Kid With A Two-bit Kit Of Magic Tricks Trying To Improve My Skills At Entertaining Whatever Public I Had - And To Make Myself Ready, Whenever The Breaks Came, To Entertain A Wider And More Demanding Public.

If It Weren't For Philo T. Farnsworth, Inventor Of Television, We'd Still Be Eating Frozen Radio Dinners.