Good Must Triumph Over Evil. It Usually

When You Get Past Fifty, You Have To Decide Whether To Keep Your Face Or Your Figure. I Kept My Face.

Among Men, Sex Sometimes Results In Intimacy; Among Women, Intimacy Sometimes Results In Sex.

The Reason Why Englishmen Are The Best Husbands In The World Is Because They Want To Be Faithful. A Frenchman Or An Italian Will Wake Up In The Morning And Wonder What Girl He Will Meet. An Englishman Wakes Up And Wonders What The Cricket Score Is.

After Forty A Woman Has To Choose Between Losing Her Figure Or Her Face. My Advice Is To Keep Your Face, And Stay Sitting Down.

I Always Wear Boot Polish On My Eyelashes, Because I Am A Very Emotional Person And It Doesn't Run When I Cry.