When You Get Past Fifty, You Have

I Have Always Found Women Difficult. I Don't Really Understand Them. To Begin With, Few Women Tell The Truth.

I Always Wear Boot Polish On My Eyelashes, Because I Am A Very Emotional Person And It Doesn't Run When I Cry.

The Reason Why Englishmen Are The Best Husbands In The World Is Because They Want To Be Faithful. A Frenchman Or An Italian Will Wake Up In The Morning And Wonder What Girl He Will Meet. An Englishman Wakes Up And Wonders What The Cricket Score Is.

I Would Love To Employ A Man, But How Can I Possibly Give A Man Dictation From The Bath?

A Woman Asking 'am I Good? Am I Satisfied?' Is Extremely Selfish. The Less Women Fuss About Themselves, The Less They Talk To Other Women, The More They Try To Please Their Husbands, The Happier The Marriage Is Going To Be.