Everybody's Funny In Different Ways.

The Earth Is A Used Kleenex On The Universe's Nightstand.

The Senate Was Holding Hearings On Deceptive Sweepstakes Practices. These Companies Target The Elderly, Making Them Think They're Going To Get A Bunch Of Money, When In Reality They Never See Any Of It. The Most Popular Of These Scams Is Called Social Security.

I'm Just Another Guy Who Thinks He's Smarter Than He Is, In A Long Line Of Them.

New York Stat Agreed To Pay $12 Million To Settle A Lawsuit Filed Three Decades Ago By Inmates Swept Up In The Bloody 1971 Revolt At Attica Prison. The Settlement Will Be Paid In The Form Of Chocolate Bars And Packs Of Newports That Can Be Picked Up In The Commissary.

You Can’t Make Everybody Laugh. You Gotta Just Do What You Think Is Funny. Just Be Obstreperous To Everybody.