Boy, I Miss The Days They Made

Having A 2 Year Old Is Like Having A Blender That You Don't Have The Top For.

Sometimes I Think More Creativity Is Put Into Muffin Recipes Than Into The Rest Of Society Combined.

Introducing 'lite': The New Way To Spell 'light'; But With Twenty Per Cent Fewer Letters.

People Don't Just Bump Into Each Other And Have Sex. This Isn't Cinemax.

I Will Never Understand Why They Cook On Tv. I Can't Smell It. Can't Eat It. Can't Taste It. The End Of The Show They Hold It Up To The Camera, 'well, Here It Is. You Can't Have Any. Thanks For Watching. Goodbye.'