Attitude Is More Important Than The Past,

You Can Fool Some Of The People Some Of The Time -- And That's Enough To Make A Decent Living.

I Was Married Once--in San Francisco. I Haven't Seen Her For Many Years. The Great Earthquake And Fire In 1906 Destroyed The Marriage Certificate. There's No Legal Proof. Which Proves That Earthquakes Aren't All Bad.

I Once Spent A Year In Philadelphia, I Think It Was On A Sunday.

It's What You Do That Counts And Not What You Say; Therefore I Fired My Press Agent.

Ye Gads, No! I Couldn't Stand The Noise.