A Hooker Once Told Me She Had

When My Parents Got Divorced, There Was A Custody Fight Over Me. ... And No One Showed Up.

One Night She Told Me To Put Out The Garbage. I Told Her "you Cooked It, You Take It Out".

Life's A Short Trip. You'll Find Out.

I've Never Been Lucky. The Day My Ship Came In, I Was At The Airport.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.