A Funeral Eulogy Is A Belated Plea

Humor Is Merely Tragedy Standing On Its Head With Its Pants Torn.

Middle Age: When You Begin To Exchange Your Emotions For Symptoms.

Until You Go To Kentucky And With Your Own Eyes Behold The Derby, You Ain't Never Been Nowhere And You Ain't Seen Nothin'!

An Epitaph Is A Belated Advertisement For A Line Of Goods That Have Been Permanently Discontinued.

If A Woman Likes Another Woman, She's Cordial. If She Doesn't Like Her, She's Very Cordial.