You Know You're Old When Your Walker

This Man I Was Going With Asked Me For My Finger Measurements. I Thought He Was Going To Buy Me A Ring For Christmas, But He Gave Me A Bowling Ball.

On The Way To The Delivery Room, I Almost Changed My Mind About Having A Baby. I Wouldn't Have Found It So Hard To Go Ahead With It If I Had Realized That Having A Baby Was The Only Way I Could Ever Become A Grandmother.

My Husband Always Felt That A Marriage And Career Don't Mix. That's Why He's Never Worked.

Have The Man At The Station Put The Air In The Tires. I Did It Once Myself. Have You Ever Seen A Car With A Limp?

Oh, That Dog! Ever Hear Of A German Shepherd That Bites Its Nails? Barks With A Lisp? You Say, "attack!" And He Has One. All He Does Is Piddle. He's Nothing But A Fur-covered Kidney That Barks.