You Know Your Gut Instincts Are Spot

Why Do Bad Guys In Movies Always Love To Whistle Really Slowly?

I Don't Get Any Anxiety. I Don't Because Of Two Reasons. Number One, Just Breaking Through It As A Kid And Finally Getting Past It Was Like Okay, Nothing's Ever Going To Feel That Scary Again As That Deafening Silence Of A Joke Not Working. Any Joke Not Working Is Not As Bad As Not Being Able To Even Try And Get On Stage.

You Know What I'd Like To Be Able To Do More Than Anything Else? I'd Love To Be Able To Shoot Spaghetti Out Of My Fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause No One Wants To Be Covered In Spaghetti. No. If I'm On A Date With A Girl And She's Very Rude, I'd Be Like, You Know What? Pppptthhh! Enjoy Your Spaghetti, You're Very Rude. Enjoy Your Spaghetti, Cause You're Rude. Pppptthhh!

I Want To Be Able To Challenge Myself. And Do Things That Are Away From What I Usually Do. Stand-up Is Safe For Me. I Can Do Stand-up In Front Of Twenty-five Thousand People, And I'm Like, "i Know How To Do This. This Is What I Do." I Want To Be A Little Scared.

I Was Being Chased By A Giant Crab. That's Not Funny.