When People Refer To 'back In The

I Don't Know If I Could Kill Someone With A Frozen Turkey Because That Is A Lot Of Evidence To Eat .... Unless I Found A Whole Room Of People Who Also Wanted That Person Dead.

Text A Guy You Like Right Now, "i'm Thinking About You." If He Says, "mmm Are You In Bed?" Never Speak To Him Again He's A Lifelong Moron.

I've Always Read Books And Loved Human Behavior Since I Was Ten Or Twelve Years Old. Maybe Even That's Why I Wanted To Do Comedy.

I Love Being On Stage If I'm Not On A Set. If I'm At Home, I'm Usually In My Office Editing Or Reconstructing My Website Or Whatever It May Be. I Just Love Putting Creativity Into A Performance.

When You See Somebody Walking Down The Street Wearing A Superman T-shirt, You Just Want To Shoot Them In The Chest ... When They Start To Bleed Go, I Guess Not