I Do Think I Am Funny, Or

When You Are Doing Stand-up Comedy, You Are The Writer, Producer, Director, Sometimes Bouncer.

When A Guy Says "i Have No Idea What You're Talking About" It Means "i'm Thinking Of Exactly What You're Saying I Did While I Lie To You."

When I Have A Really Hot Date At A Show, I Definitely Make It A Point To Use Her Name. The Girls Really Love That.

After You Have Loss In Your Life And After You Experience Something Like Losing Your Parents, The Greatest Gift Of That Was It Prepared Me For [anything]. Nothing Else Is As Scary, And Certainly Stand-up Comedy Is Not As Scary As Sitting There With Your Mom And Having To Have Last Conversations And Things Like That. It's Heavy Stuff, But It's Enlightening Because It Makes Me Think I Shouldn't Be Afraid Of Sharing Ideas And Thoughts With People. It's The Yin And The Yang Of Life.

There Was A Girl I Loved In High School - But Never Spoke To. Cut To My Five-year Reunion: I'm An Entirely Different Person.