I Did Stand-up Comedy For Seventeen Years.

You Can't Teach An Old Hater New Truths.

I'm Interested In Doing Anything And Everything That I Can To Squeeze The Creativity Out Of My Brain. I Guess I'm Kind Of A Performance Rat, That's What I Want To Do, I Love Being On Stage If I'm Not On A Set. I Just Love Putting Creativity Into A Performance.

It's Hard To Be Happy For Someone When You Know Deep Down They'd Kill You If They Had The Chance.

When I Have A Really Hot Date At A Show, I Definitely Make It A Point To Use Her Name. The Girls Really Love That.

I Found Someones Passport On The Ground Tonight. Where Do You Sell These Things?