When I'm Wrong I'm Like The Emperor

You Know You're Lazy When You Run Out Of Toilet Paper And Use The Cardboard Roll To Wipe With.

I Work With A Lot Of Kids. Every Year, For The Past Fifteen Years, I Work At Comedy Camp Where I Work With A Lot Of Kids.

My Advice Is: To Try And Stay Really True To The Things That Make You Laugh, As Opposed To Trying To Create A Character That You Think Is Funny. Some Comedians Get Into Bad Habits When They Are Trying To Create Something That Is Not Them, And They Are Trying To Write A Voice That Isn't Their True Voice.

When You Don't Have Love, It's Like There's A Party Going On, And Everybody Was Invited, Except For You. And You Just Happened To Be Walking By That House In The Rain...

I'm Shooting A Pilot Based On My Show. It's A One-camera Show. I Play Myself.