You Know You're Lazy When You Run

Sometimes, Like We All Do, I Look At Myself In The Mirror. Sometimes I Cry. Like A Really Hard Cry Like You Just Watch Yourself Cry But Then You're Done And You're Just Glowing And You're Staring At Yourself.

What Am I Supposed To Say To An Atheist When He Sneezes, Ah, When You Die Nothing Happens.

I Had One Job That Was Kind Of Cop-like. One Summer I Did Security At A Miniature Golf Course. Just Standing Out In The Sun All Day, Hey, Hey, Excuse Me Sir. Get Your Putter Out Of The Whale's Ass. Come On, This Is A Place Of Miniature Business. This Is Not A Playground Even Though It Looks Like A Playground.

Some People Give You That Motivation To Work Harder Simply To Get The Hell Away From Wherever They Are.

It's Amazing How Dumb People Can Impress You With How Much Stupider They Can Be When They Really Assert Themselves.