I Feel Like The Gods Have Certainly

When Someone's Running Late Through An Airport, I Hope They Miss Their Flight So They Can Meet The Love Of Their Life At The Duty Free Shop.

I Can Smell Bullshit From A Mile Away But It's So Much Harder To Detect When It's Around You All Day.

I'm Shooting A Pilot Based On My Show. It's A One-camera Show. I Play Myself.

Someone Needs To Make A Zombie Movie Where When You Get Bit It Turns You Into A Singing And Dancing Extraordinaire.

Listening To Evanescence Makes Me Want To Break Up With A Girl In Real Time As A Giant Antique Hourglass Falls To The Floor In Slow Motion.