I'm Shooting A Pilot Based On My

It's The Worst Feeling When You Come Home Alone Late At Night And Think The Stranger Sitting On Your Couch Is A Pile Of Clothes.

I'm Quitting The Business Today. I'm Going To Open Up An Appliance Store, I've Always Really Been Into Toasters. I'm Giving It All Up.

I'm A Late-night Guy.

I'm Watching Some Television Tonight. I'm Watching The Discovery Channel. You Know, This Channel, You Never Ever Plan On Watching This. It Just Happens. You're Flickin' Around, All Of A Sudden - Boom - You're Watching A Mole For An Hour-and-a-half.

Teach Your Kids To Make Deplorable Choices And Hopefully They'll Rebel And Make The Right Ones.