When I Have A Really Hot Date

I Don't Like People That Litter. If You Don't Throw A Wrapper In The Trashcan And You Just Toss It Out On The Ground I Wanna Take You And Toss You Into Outer Space.

My Mom And Dad Passed Away From Cancer. Within Nine Months, I Lost Both Of My Folks. Immediately After That, I Had A Horrible Betrayal Where My Brother, Who Worked For Me, Stole A Lot Of My Money. He's In Jail Now.

If You Use Tact You Can Say Anything, Then Make It Funny.

A Couple Of Days Back, I Got Into A Car Accident. Not My Fault. Even If It's Not Your Fault, The Other Person Gets Out Of Their Car And Looks At You Like It's Your Fault: Why Did You Stop At A Red Light And Let Me Hit You Doing 80!

When You Get Hit By A Car Sometimes Your Shoes Will Fly Off, Sometimes Your Pants Will Come Off, But I Was Not Fortunate Enough To See The Pants Portion.