I Love Singing Along To The Radio

You Have To Realize, When You're A Comedian, That You Have To Have A Thick Skin. And Trust Me, Being Onstage In Front Of People Is Already Difficult Enough. Somebody's Personal Attack In An Email Is Not As Hard As Getting Onstage.

Teach Your Kids To Make Deplorable Choices And Hopefully They'll Rebel And Make The Right Ones.

When You Get Hit By A Car Sometimes Your Shoes Will Fly Off, Sometimes Your Pants Will Come Off, But I Was Not Fortunate Enough To See The Pants Portion.

Text A Guy You Like Right Now, "i'm Thinking About You." If He Says, "mmm Are You In Bed?" Never Speak To Him Again He's A Lifelong Moron.

I Love Being On Stage If I'm Not On A Set. If I'm At Home, I'm Usually In My Office Editing Or Reconstructing My Website Or Whatever It May Be. I Just Love Putting Creativity Into A Performance.