You Know Why I Feel Older? I

I Think I've Lost 3lbs - I'm Very, Very Happy. I Thought Of It As Work And A Spa.

That Baby Is So Ugly... I've Never Seen A Six-month-old So Desperately In Need Of A Wax.

You Know You're Getting Old When You Buy A Sexy Sheer Nightgown And Don't Know Anyone Who Can See Through It.

I Love Israel For Its Blue And White Flag As It Matches My Legs.

The People Voting For The Oscars Are So Old. I Haven't Seen One Academy Award Voter With A Tampon In Her Purse.