You Have A Firm Grasp Of The

And That Brings Us To Tonight's Word: Truthiness. Now I'm Sure Some Of The Word-police, The 'wordanistas' Over At Websters, Are Gonna Say, 'hey, That's Not A Word!' Well, Anybody Who Knows Me Knows That I Am No Fan Of Dictionaries Or Reference Books. They're Elitist. Constantly Telling Us What Is Or Isn't True, What Did Or Didn't Happen.

It Warps The Minds Of Our Children And Weakens The Resolve Of Our Allies.

I Can't Be Gay! I'm A Happily Married Conservative, Just Like Ted Haggard And Larry Craig.

My Mom Kind Of Led Me Toward Acting. She Wanted To Be An Actress When She Was Younger. That Made Me Interested In It When I Was A Kid, Because She And I Are Very Close.

Tomorrow You're All Going To Wake Up In A Brave New World, A World Where The Constitution Gets Trampled By An Army Of Terrorist Clones Created In A Stem-cell Research Lab Run By Homosexual Doctors Who Sterilize Their Instruments Over Burning American Flags. Where Tax And Spend Democrats Take All Your Hard-earned Money And Use It To Buy Electric Cars For National Public Radio And Teach Evolution To Illegal Immigrants. Oh... And Everybody's High!