You Are The Director Of Your Own

I Had Never Done A Roast, But I Really Wanted To, Because It's So Different From Standup.

It's Not For Any Purpose Such As Religion, Health, Or Things Like That, I Just Never Felt I Had The Need Or Want To Drink Or Do Drugs.

I Live My Life Like There's No Yesterday.

Even When I Go To A Salad Bar, I Need To Feel Like I'm One Of The First People There.

If You're Drunk Please Don't Drive. If You're On Shrooms Please Don't Think Walmart's A Prison For Bad Clothing That Needs Help Escaping.