I Don't Hate Anyone. I Simply Block

I'm Watching Some Television Tonight. I'm Watching The Discovery Channel. You Know, This Channel, You Never Ever Plan On Watching This. It Just Happens. You're Flickin' Around, All Of A Sudden - Boom - You're Watching A Mole For An Hour-and-a-half.

I've Always Read Books And Loved Human Behavior Since I Was Ten Or Twelve Years Old. Maybe Even That's Why I Wanted To Do Comedy.

Jim Norton And Harland Williams Always Make Me Laugh.

Someone Needs To Make A Zombie Movie Where When You Get Bit It Turns You Into A Singing And Dancing Extraordinaire.

I Once Overheard The Sweetest Old Woman Behind Me On A Train Tell Her Adorable Old Husband As He Scoffed Down A Ham Sandwich She Had Brought Along, "if You Ever Yell At Me To "stop Bringing A Ham Sandwich With Me Every Where We Go" Again? Next Time I'm Bringing A Gun. And I'm Blowing Your God Damn Head Off."