That Myspace Is The Story Of The

Sometimes Sex Is Just A Way To Escape Having To Talk To That Person.

I Don't Get Any Anxiety. I Don't Because Of Two Reasons. Number One, Just Breaking Through It As A Kid And Finally Getting Past It Was Like Okay, Nothing's Ever Going To Feel That Scary Again As That Deafening Silence Of A Joke Not Working. Any Joke Not Working Is Not As Bad As Not Being Able To Even Try And Get On Stage.

Some Girls Look Beautiful With No Makeup On At All. I Call Them Lazy. Now Go Throw Some War Paint On You Bleak Empty Canvas You.

In The Year 3000, Everything Will Be Instant.

I Work With A Lot Of Kids. Every Year, For The Past Fifteen Years, I Work At Comedy Camp Where I Work With A Lot Of Kids.