Why Should I Be Feeling Tension? It's

I Always Fancied Myself More Of An Actor Than A Comedian Before I Realized That Only Assholes Make That Kind Of Distinction.

I Didn't Hang Any Pictures In My Office For A Year Because I Thought That I Would Be Jinxing Myself And Have To Take Them Down The Next Day.

I Touched An Oscar Once. Friend Of Mine Has One, For Writing. As Soon As I Touched It, He Said, Now You'll Never Win One.

I Want To Manufacture A Feud.

I Didn't Really Feel 100 Percent Comfortable Until We Started Working On The 2004 Election.