I Just Want To Do Cool Stuff.

I Like Playing Really Super-intense, Live-in-the-moment Characters. It Asks Me To Not Phone It In. It's Impossible To Phone It In. Every American Boy Has Spent His Childhood Pretending To Get Shot.

I Am A Man Who Used To Wear The Tights. We Traveled The Country Doing Two Shakespeare Plays For Bored College Students For About A Year. I Think I'd Probably Still Be Doing It Now If I Hadn't Just Randomly Decided To Go To A Sketch Group Audition. That Led To Doing Improv, Which Led To The Daily Show. But It Was Fun While It Lasted.

Apparently It's Cool To Watch The Daily Show.

As A Teenager, I Was Very Much A People Pleaser And That Excludes Being Adventuresome At All. I Was A Boy Scout Though And So That's As Adventuresome As I Got.

I Peed In My Wife's Boot Once. On Honeymoon, In Madrid, We Were Drinking Absinthe And Somehow Made It Back To Our Hotel. I Don't Remember A Second Of This, But My Wife Woke Up To This Noise. Two Of Her Boots Were In The Corner, One Had Fallen Down And The Other Was Standing Up And I Was Peeing Into It! It Was A Hole, And It Looked Like A Toilet. She Said: "rob, Wake Up, You're Peeing Into My Shoe!"